he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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