The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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