O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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