Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
