'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
