Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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