is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
