I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
