you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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