i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
