Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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