i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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