i just identified you from a description of your pipe
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
