There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
