He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
