So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
