problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
