she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I could fuck to npr.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
