I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
