your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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