Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
