she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
