oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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