It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize
