Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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