Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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