Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
