If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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