I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize