question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
