I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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