You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
