new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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