Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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