Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
