Pappa wants mamma naked
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
