I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
