I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
