They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
