I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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