Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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