It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
