Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
