I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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