those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
