I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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