i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
