lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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