i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
