marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
