Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
