Sry I called you an 8
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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