Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize