Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
