do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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