All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
