I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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