I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Randomize