my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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