how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I forget how to act sober
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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