My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
