seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
