god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
