my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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