so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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