you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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